Thursday, January 27, 2011
Weathering the Storm
If you are a stress eater - nothing can be harder than staying on track when emotional times hit...and they will hit. What do you do? Where do you turn when every fiber of your being is telling you to eat that cookie?
I was faced with this choice today. I held the cookie in my hand. I turned it over and looked at the chocolate chips. I said "This will not get me where I want to be."
And it didn't work. I still wanted the cookie. Badly. I wanted to assure myself everything would be ok - to soothe my frazzled nerves, to calm my thoughts - to ease my pain.
Ultimately, I put the cookie back and walked out of the kitchen. I went and took a shower. I hadn't cried at all until I got in the shower, and the tears flowed easily and quietly. I let the pain go.
After I got out of the shower, I made a startling realization...at least, it was for me. Food for me is a comfort mechanism to turn to when showing emotion isn't appropriate. When keeping it bottled up is easier than facing the emotions I'm feeling. Crying released the tension I was feeling, and as I dried my hair, I understood so clearly...I no longer wanted the cookie; my emotional pain had been released.
I made a big breakthrough today. Will I want to eat out of emotion in the future? Perhaps - but the healing has begun.